Saturday, May 14, 2011

perasaan sekarang sama seperti enam belas tahun dulu.
aku cari seribu alasan untuk umi tak hantar ke sekolah.
cuma kali ini cari alasan untuk menyedapkan hati sendiri.
hujungnya tahu, jawapan pada diri sendiri: wajib jugak pergi sekolah.
by hook or by crook.
macam dulu-dulu,
betapa aku buat2 tidur,
betapa aku menangis meraung
betapa aku tanggalkan tudung sambil amuk
betapa aku berlakon demam dan sakit perut
betapa aku merayu
umi tetap hantar sampai ke pintu sekolah.
cuma kadang2, nasib sedikit baik. umi jadi kasihan dan bersimpati.

kalau dulu2,
umi bawa jumpa child psychiatrist di hospital,
sekarang ni aku nak bawak diri sendiri jumpa siapa?
pegawai kaunseling?

kau bukan budak kecik lagi aishah.


dah hampir satu jam keluar masuk bilik ni.
tak jugak siap2 mahu ke sekolah.

pakaian dah siap bergosok.
buku dah siap kemas,
kotak pensil dah ada.
tisu extra pun sudah.


dari tadi cari apa?
semangat?
jangan buat kelakar.
hati?
berhenti dari suka melankoli.

doakan,
tolong doakan
agar tak ada orang buli saya di sekolah nanti.

sejak bila sabar punya had?
sejak bila sampai hati nak minta simpati?





melangkahlah!
jom ke sekolah!



.

perempuan

bismillah

It’s a habit of yours to walk slowly.
You hold a grudge for years.
With such heaviness, how can you be modest?
With such attachments, do you expect to arrive anywhere?

Be wide as the air to learn a secret.
Right now you’re equal portions clay
and water, thick mud.

Abraham learned how the sun and moon and the stars all set.
He said, No longer will I try to assign partners for God.

You are so weak. Give up to Grace.
The ocean takes care of each wave
till it gets to the shore.
You need more help than you know.
You’re trying to live your life in open scaffolding.
Say Bismillah, In the Name of God,
as the priest does with a knife when he offers an animal.

Bismillah your old self
to find your real name.


Maulana Jalaludin Rumi

FOR HEAVEN'S SAKE, MY HEART!

By Gibran

For heaven's sake, my heart, keep secret your love,
and hide the secret from those you see
and you will have better fortune.

He who reveals secrets is considered fool;
silence and secrecy are much better for him
who falls in love.

For heaven's sake, my heart, if someone asks,
"What has happened?" do not answer.
If you are asked, 'Who is she?"
Say she is in love with another.
And pretend that it is of no consequence.

For heaven's sake, my love, conceal your passion;
your sickness is also your medicine because love
to the soul is as wine in a glass- what you
see is liquid, what is hidden is its spirit.

For heaven's sake, my heart, conceal your troubles;
then, should the seas roar and the skies fall,
you will be safe.



.

bukan semua soalan ada jawapan kan?

awak tak follow bukan sebab awak tak sayang, kan?

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